i woke up with a pen in my hand.
i’ve been writing to him in my sleep again.
September 24, 2009
Lee Daniels’ “Precious: Based On The Novel PUSH By Sapphire” Honored With Toronto International Film Festival’s Cadillac People’s Choice Award
Clareece 'Precious' Jones played Gabourey Sidibe
Rare Double Audience Honors From Sundance and Toronto Film Festivals Join Prix Du Jury from Deauville American Film Festival In Film’s Mounting Festival Decoration
Santa Monica, CA (BlackNews.com) – LIONSGATE® (NYSE: LGF), the leading next generation studio, announced today that Lee Daniels’ “Precious: Based On The Novel PUSH By Sapphire,” has won the Cadillac People’s Choice Award at the Toronto International Film Festival. The award was announced at the festival’s closing ceremony.
Daniels, who is currently in Spain where the film premieres at the San Sebastian International Film Festival this evening, provided a statement presented by Laurie May, co-President of the film’s Canadian distributor Maple Pictures, which read in part:
“First and foremost, I would like to dedicate this award to Cameron Bailey, whose support of me, and belief in my work from the beginning with The Woodsman, Shadowboxer and now Precious is unparalleled. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to the Toronto audiences as well – this award holds such an important meaning to me because I made this film for every person out there who ever looked in the mirror and felt unsure about the person looking back. This is not an art film for a select few, this is a movie that I hope everyone can relate to. There is nothing more special than being honored by the public, by my peers.” See more A.T.J. Keep reading →
September 24, 2009
picking at scabs
being a floridian i love oranges. my love for oranges grew in college. there were baskets of free oranges in the cafeteria. i’d take two. sometimes three. i’d eat them throughout the day. i think that’s why my hands are so rough. that’s the story i tell people. i never put on lotion. lotion is another thing to do to do. something that takes away from writing. i’ve been picking at cuticles and old scabs around my nails all day. i have all these things floating in my head. what chapter to edit next? does this line make sense? why can’t i find a publish? the always question – why can’t i find a boyfriend? all while i’m packing at my nails. when i’m published i can worry about lotion. i can’t now. i have to write.
August 31, 2009
sadness become him
london love ball by ellis scott
blogging is such a bore sometimes. it feels too much like a journal. but journals are not connected to the web. what i loved about blogging was the connection. to be connected to people. i don’t feel like i am connected so i stopped writing.
what i forgot was how this blog made me start back writing poetry. my favorite poem on here is unfinished. i have more to write.
i’ll start treating this more like a journal. a place to collect my thoughts.
February 16, 2009
darcy: a poem
each step. his face turns away from me.
it couldn’t be from anywhere else.
forever. to say. he turns sideways.
for now. he means.
i know forever is never forever.
can you handle me for now he says.
February 11, 2009
Push, Sapphire novel turned screenplay, a must see
The novel by Sapphire
I was living in Ann Arbor at the time. A friend, who happened to be a drag king recommended I read Push. I had never heard of the book or the author, Sapphire. I loved the cover, brick red background, bold black letters, simple. The first page had me. Claireece Precious Jones, the main character, grabbed me by the hand and told me not to let go. I didn’t. Claireece is repeatedly raped by father and abused by her mother. “Poor, angry, illiterate, fat, unloved and generally unnoticed,” she finds a way out and tries to better understand her life as it is. Sapphire writes with such a beauty that is painfully vivid. I held my breath reading some of the pages.
I’ve been running away from Claireece’s, Eisha’s, Tameka’s, and Tyrone’s since I graduated from high school. Claireece could have been my neighbor when I was 8 or 18. She lives in the ghetto. My family lived in the ghetto at two very different times of my life. I am still running. Trying to escape the hardship that my mother and grandmother and relatives faced through writing.
I had no idea Push was being turned into a movie. Neither was it being directed by Lee Daniels. Lee Daniels is a outspoken gay Black writer, producer (Monster’s Ball), and director (Shadow Boxer) known for his crazy Maxwell-esque hair. I remember reading an article about him in Vibe magazine years ago about one of his current projects at the time. Two years ago I went to see the premiere of his movie, Shadowboxer with Helen Mirren, Mo’Nique, and Cuba Gooding Jr. in LA. I was excited to hear that he directed and co-produced Push.
Oprah calls Push the next Color Purple. I’m wondering why isn’t their more money behind this project. I haven’t even heard any bloggers talking about it. The buzz at Sundance was that Mo’Nique might be considered for an Oscar for her performance in the movie. Mo’Nique has developed a gainful relationship with Daniels and so has Mariah Carey. Carey plays Krystal in the highly antipated Tennessee, which Daniels produced. Tennesse is directed by Aaron Woodley. The movie was premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival and showed at the Urbanworld Film Festival.
Tennesse is the film that Janet Jackson gained weight for “and then had to drop out b/c they moved production. Sounds like bull to me. But it’s funny that they replaced her with Mariah, who isn’t gaining any special weight for it seemingly. Guess she’s big enough,” said sledwidge on IMDb’s Message Board.
Clareece 'Precious' Jones played Gabourey Sidibe
Push stars Gabourey Sidibe, Paula Patton, Mo’Nique, Mariah Carey, Sherri Shepherd, and Lenny Kravitz. How did I not hear about this project? Claireece Precious Jones is portrayed by Gabourey Sidibe, a new actress from Harlem. Push is slated to be released later this year. Coincidentally, there’s another film titled Push with Djimon Hounsou and Dakota Fanning that has released last week. Hounsou’s Push is a Sci-Fi thriller about young kids with special powers.
Push is the recipient of the Grand Jury Prize: U.S. Dramatic, the Audience Award presented by Honda: U.S. Dramatic, and A Special Jury Prize for Acting at the Sundance Film Festival and was nominated for Best Trailer by the Golden Trailer Awards. It’s one of only three films to win both the Audience Dramatic and Jury Awards at Sundance.
February 5, 2009
Vincent (Starry Starry Night)
Vincent (Starry Starry Night) by Don McLean
Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land
Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now
Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand
Chorus:
For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.
Like the stranger that you’ve met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will.
January 16, 2009
Obama to End Military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Policy
WASHINGTON — President-elect Barack Obama will allow gays to serve openly in the military by overturning the controversial “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that marred President Clinton’s first days in office, according to incoming White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.
The startling pronouncement, which could re-open a dormant battle in the culture wars and distract from other elements of Obama’s agenda, came during a Gibbs exchange with members of the public who sent in questions that were answered on YouTube.
“Thadeus of Lansing, Mich., asks, ‘Is the new administration going to get rid of the “don’t ask, don’t tell policy?’” said Gibbs, looking into the camera. “Thadeus, you don’t hear a politician give a one-word answer much. But it’s, ‘Yes.’”
The Obama transition team declined to elaborate on that one-word answer when asked by FOX News on Wednesday about a timetable for repealing the policy, which was enacted by Clinton after a protracted public debate. Obama officials also would not explain which lawmakers or Pentagon officials would attempt to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
Clinton, who initially sought to overturn the longstanding ban on gays in the military, ended up enacting the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy as a compromise that made it illegal for commanders to ask about the sexual orientation of service members, who were also barred from announcing they were homosexual. If a service member’s homosexuality becomes known anyway, he or she is expelled.
Clinton is widely viewed as having stumbled during his first days in office by getting caught up in the raging controversy, which detracted from the rest of his agenda. It is not yet clear whether Obama would face a similar debacle.
For years, Obama has said he generally opposes the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Last summer, he told a gay magazine he can “reasonably” see it being repealed. But that was a far cry from Gibbs’ unequivocal promise that the policy will indeed be ended.
The gay community is eager for a quick repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” but fears it could be months before the new administration reaches a consensus with lawmakers and the military. Others think Obama could do it quickly, but is leery of the kind of fallout Bill Clinton faced when he tackled the divisive issue.
FOX News’ Carl Cameron contributed to this report.
January 15, 2009
Proposition 8: Al Sharpton: Churches should focus on social woes, not gay marriage
New York activist Al Sharpton is of course the latest to join the Proposition 8 parade. In a speech over the weekend, he questioned why churches that backed the ban on gay marriage aren’t focusing on bigger issues such as violence and poverty. From the Southern Voice website:
From the pulpit of Tabernacle Baptist Church on Sunday, Rev. Al Sharpton called out the Mormon Church and other conservative faiths for mobilizing to support Proposition 8 to ban gay marriage in California while refusing to be as involved in any other social concerns.
“It amazes me when I looked at California and saw churches that had nothing to say about police brutality, nothing to say when a young black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say when they overturned affirmative action, nothing to say when people were being delegated into poverty, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to stop consenting adults from choosing their life partners,” Sharpton told a packed audience on Jan. 11.
“There is something immoral and sick about using all of that power to not end brutality and poverty, but to break into people’s bedrooms and claim that God sent you,” Sharpton added.
–Shelby Grad
December 26, 2008
the empty seat at the table
i looked at my cell phone. mom called. i didn’t hear the phone ring. i purposely set the ring to silent. hearing merry Christmas or happy anything makes me a bundle of nerves. the holidays remind me of family. i try to distance my family to keep the unspoken things between us unspoken. how do you articulate mom i’m gay over the Christmas turkey. that’s why i have never brought a woman home for the holidays. holidays are too awkward as a gay black man. there’s always an empty seat at the table.
i tend to disappear around the holidays. they remind me how lonely gay life can be. the longest relationship i’ve had lasted one year. we were young and thought we loved each other. i think we loved the idea of being intimate more. relationship building was a foreign language to me.
my dislike for holidays started in 99. my boyfriend and i were in college. we were inseparable. i was supposed to spend the holiday with my family. i decided to spend time with my boyfriend instead. he had an apartment off-campus. i remember calling my grandmother saying that i would call her on Christmas eve. i didn’t call her. i didn’t call on Christmas either. i called the day after Christmas. i said i would call her the next day. i didn’t. i stayed at my boyfriend’s apartment until new years day. we watched the countdown on TV drinking Asti Spumanti champagne (I threw the cork and label away two years ago) and fell asleep on his fire engine red sofa bed. i caught the bus to my grandmother’s house. the garage door was open. i saw grandma on the cordless phone talking. she looked up at me, jumped up, and gave me a big hug in tears. i thought someone had died. she thought something had happened to me because i didn’t call her. that stayed with me for a long time.
December 21, 2008
an accidental approach: a poem
an accidental approach
red lights mute faces
he’s facing me
an awkward pause
i can’t make him want me
a handshake then an embrace
i can’t make him want me
December 19, 2008
Snowing Milan 2008 DuomoXmas
Snowing Milan 2008 DuomoXmas, originally uploaded by skymino.
so many lights.
December 19, 2008
things that piss me off about black people
Aurora della Croix's The Gullible Girl's Guide to Gagging the Down-low Brother
i subscribe to a pr listserv, blacknews.com. i get emails everyday about news in the black community. sometimes i get gems like an article about farrah gray (or dr. farrah gray – it’s honorary so it doesn’t really count). i normally just delete it when i see it. i didn’t today. perusing the article titles, down-low jumped out at me. i have always hated that word. i clicked the article title link. “Down-Low Brothers Watch Out — The Holy Grail for Women of Color Has Arrived.”
the following article popped up:
Down-Low Brothers Watch Out — The Holy Grail for Women of Color Has Arrived
New York, NY (BlackNews.com) – AdC Publishing released a reference guide for women of color, which is destined to be a #1 Bestseller in the African-American and Latino communities.
Aurora della Croix’s The Gullible Girl’s Guide to Gagging the Down-low Brother! is indeed a mouth full; however, coupled with this alliterated mammoth title, comes an eye and ear full of valuable information for women of color.
Engaging…brilliantly written…an easy read, this raw…witty…sexy…and sometimes erotic tour de force is the first volume of a double volume set, and has been coined the holy grail for women of color who desire to increase their knowledge about the down-low brother (DLB).
Della Croix embraces the reader on an one-on-one level, and leads her/him on a lyrical journey through time and back. Along the way, della Croix tackles labels, as he candidly dispel some of the myths about men…straight, gay and down-low. Combining various ingredients such as self-help mantras, psychology, historical facts, anecdotes, fantasy, and profiles; sprinkled with an abundance of humor, this recipe ensures the reader is well-seasoned and empowered for entry into the sweltering, and abysmal black-hole known as the DLB psyche. A successful journey through this first volume arms the reader with the necessary basic tools and knowledge to defend herself against the chicanery of her current or future DLB.
Aurora della Croix is a native son of New York, the youngest of 11 children; and for eight years, he called Orangeburg, South Carolina, the birthplace of his mother, his home. He always had a passion for writing, and in 1989, he wrote, directed and produced his first off-Broadway play, “The Thin Line”, at the Sanford Meisner Theatre in New York City, which documented a confusing period in his life. The success of this play set him on the track to becoming one of the most entertaining authors and playwrights of the 21st Century, with a plethora of unpublished works ready to hit the presses, including the sequel to the current published title, a collection of poetry, a trilogy about a dysfunctional family, and an epic novel set in the 1700s which tells the story of a very suspect connection and bond between two southern families–a slave family, and the family of a tobacco and cotton plantation.
For now, you can purchase Volume One of The Gullilble Girl’s Guide to Gagging the Down-low Brother! for $8.95 at www.gulliblegirl.net
the down-low is a word that was created with hate (see r. kelly) and synonymous with j.l. king. straight black women hurl it around now like pleased to meet you. every man who is educated, dresses well, and attractive is suspected of being on the dl or down low. it’s aggravating. the idea of black masculinity is intertwined with underline stereotypes of black male identity. whenever i see that word something triggers in me. i think too many authors use that word to cash in on its supposed meaning.
i got all the way to the aurora’s bio (i have always been bothered by people you name their children aurora) and stopped when i read the word he. i read the first line “Aurora della Croix is a native son of New York, the youngest of 11 children; and for eight years, he called.” i missed native son. then i googled aurora. i didn’t get anyway. i went to the website listed in the article. you have to register pre-order information to get into the site. i just want to know why. obviously, aurora is a man. i understand that. what kind of man, i don’t know. that really doesn’t matter. why do gay men go after each other so viciously to add to the already demeaning and self-destroying dialogue.
i want a funeral for the down low and dl. the d word.
i have so many questions.
1. are you trans aurora?
2. why is the word gagging in your book title aurora (i should have known something was fishy when i read that word)?
3. who designed your book cover (they need they’re computer to be smashed into a million little pieces and forced to take a graphic design class)?
4. why?
5. i need pictures ( i know that isn’t a question)
6. della Croix? Really?
December 19, 2008
writing for the new gay black male writer
yesterday it just felt like this thing was missing from out of my body. i just wanted to sleep.
i started writing a book four years ago. i had no idea it would take four years to complete. i was working at a public library and lonely. books became my bedside companion after my boyfriend stopped talking to me. i was walking to another library. it was late evening. i saw a man walking toward me. the man’s face was shadowed. a cigarette was in his mouth. he pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette. that inspired me to write my first sentence. i wanted to base the book off my experiences with my ex-boyfriend. that’s all i knew.
i didn’t know what i was doing. my sentences read like the romantic poets and writers my senior year high school teacher loved sharing with her students. jargon connected to jargon. reading it now, i had no idea what i was saying. i wasn’t writing for my generation. writing for your generation is important as a writer. your audience will get bored if they can’t follow your ideas. i had a great editor to tell me that. over a hundred drafts later, i’m done.
December 3, 2008
the metal dog: a poem
dog collars are to control
black, something written on it, in silver
he walked past
i picked him up
men shouldn’t be so heavy
